Through Their Teeth

February 10, 2022

February is National Children's Dental Health Month, so today's column is about LYING. And if you think for a moment, you'll know exactly why Children's Dental Health Month is the perfect time to talk about lying.

A 2015 study from Delta Dental revealed that 45% of parents have a hard time getting their kids to brush. My own survey of precisely six friends (Question: Did your kids lie about brushing their teeth when they were little?) indicates it's closer to 100%. Delta Dental's research is probably more accurate than mine, but you can see we generally agree. And it makes sense: After all, is any daily ritual more boring than brushing your teeth? Young kids get bored even easier than we do, so it can be natural for them to wish their way out of it.

Very young kids can't easily distinguish between fact and fantasy, between what is true and what they want to be true. That awareness develops gradually from the toddler years and often doesn't have firm hold until after kindergarten, so kids are often not even aware that they're lying when they do it. I had to remind myself of that fact a LOT when my girls were young: I'd ask The Question, get a vigorous nod in response, then feel the dry toothbrush in the bathroom.

What we ultimately want, of course, is kids who both tell the truth AND brush their teeth. When my girls were young, one successful tactic was to offer them an easy out, a re-do. "It's sometimes hard to remember. Why don't you go check and see if your toothbrush is wet, to see if you need to try again." Often a simple "Want to rethink that? It's okay if you were mistaken the first time" worked wonders. David and I would also distinguish stories about real things from stories about made-up things to help them learn the difference.

Over the long haul, kids tend to do what their parents do, even if they make mistakes in the moment. So my best recommendation for Children's Dental Health Month is to model both scrupulous honesty and scrupulous teeth-brushing yourself. In case you need an immediate solution, though, I hunted down a list of kids' best tooth-brushing songs thoughtfully supplied by the American Dental Association. Grit your teeth and hum along.

—Deb