Their House, Their Rules

July 2, 2020

"My house, my rules."

Have you ever said it to your kids? Did your parents ever say that to you? I don't think I personally have used that exact phrase with my own kids, but it's been implicit in my attitude ever since they started to talk. Me being me, I try to lead my kids cheerfully instead of being overbearing about it: My attitude is that we are all in this together, that their dad and I have thought through our expectations carefully, and that these standards of behavior help all our lives flow smoothly. By saying clearly what those rules are and getting the kids' buy-in, we've had few problems.

These days, when we all step outside in the days of managing COVID, the rules for everyone are suddenly unfamiliar. Masks or no masks? For what ages? Under what conditions? We've had to reorganize what we do completely. Fortunately, most of the places that are open or have re-opened are pretty good about stating their new rules clearly: The rules are on web sites, they're on front-door signage, and you can ask any staff member if there is confusion.

To be clear: No one likes this. The staff at the reopened venues who are tasked with enforcing the new rules don't like it, either. But this is all of us working together to help save lives. I was at a local attraction this past weekend to see what the coming-back-to-life process was like, and not all of the visitors were on board with the mask protocol. I watched as the team tried gently to remind the tiny fraction of people who had taken off their masks to put them back on, and was sort of appalled as they were sometimes ignored or met with resistance.

I know you're not like that (my readers are awesome). But it can be super-tempting to give in to your kids when they whine about the new requirements. So I suggest that, first, you prepare them for the experience before they leave the house, and get their buy-in. Read the new protocols on the web site together and make sure that you can all get behind them. And then when whine (and they will), try saying, cheerfully, "I know, I don't like it either, but... their house, their rules. We can always leave if it's too tough. It's like a seat belt; we need to do this for everyone to be safe."

You've heard that we're all in this together. We really are.