Target Practice

September 9, 2021

If targets were easy to hit, they wouldn't be meaningful. 

There's nothing quite like the "I did it!" glow of a preschooler when she learns to tie her shoes or hit a baseball or write her name. She knows instinctively when she has done the hard work she was meant to do, and done it well, and the glow of having hit the goal is what propels her along to the next one.

What IS work? We traditionally think of work as a career or job, but I think of work more as target practice: It's setting goals to be productive and putting energy into hitting them. Work means creating order from disorder. It's building things that didn't exist before. It's fixing stuff that has broken. It's teaching others to do the same. Sometimes you hit what you're aiming at, and sometimes you just make a little bit of headway; regardless, it's honorable.

Raising kids is work. Laundry is work. Dealing with customers is work, as is weeding the garden, building a road, or a shed, or a white paper on marketing techniques. Figuring out how to use your computer. Writing a column. Mopping up your toddler's spilled apple juice. Did you clean up after breakfast? Your work made the world a better place.

A child's work is to make the world a better place, too, albeit in smaller ways. Learning is work, often hard work, as is putting your toys away. So is expressing feelings constructively. Gradually mastering self-control. Assuming small responsibilities for helping out around the house. It doesn't matter how young or old you are, you can do work that makes your own life, and the lives of those around you, better.

It's a nice way to frame an approach to the school year: Even the smallest bit of work matters, and the pride that comes from "I did it!" doesn't need to fade after preschool. Teach your kids that they always have the choice to be happy about each completed task, large or small, before going on to the next thing, through their whole lives. So instead of asking "How was school?" try asking "What did you work on today?" Then celebrate with them about what small targets they hit, and be excited with them about what they're aiming at next.

—Deb