Mask On, Mask Off

October 28, 2021

Just two years ago, masks meant a very different thing to us than they do in 2021.

Remember when putting on a mask was an entirely liberating experience? I felt that way each year at Halloween as a kid: I was rarely comfortable in my own skin, and I loathed the labels I couldn't seem to shake in everyday life ("nerds" were not cool in the '80s!). So I always looked forward to that one day each year when I got to try on a whole new identity: For a few hours, nobody could see who I "really" was behind the mask: I got to be a superhero, or a bunny, or a clown, or a villain, and one year I was even Santa Claus. The payoff of trying on a whole new way of being can be big for a kid, because it frees her imagination, lets her experiment to see what fits, and gives her a glimpse into what's possible to become.

My friend Paul Salvatoriello is a Broadway and film actor. A few years ago, he let me in on a fascinating trade secret: For adult actors, masks tend to have the opposite effect that they do for kids. Here's why: Over the years, adults accumulate lots of experiences, and therefore all kinds of masks—all different aspects of their personalities—that they wear at different times. Whereas kids get to grow by trying on masks, acting success for adults actually requires them to take their masks off, to peel back the accumulated layers and show the authentic face that suits the role. It's scary, the peeling back of the layers, but Paul says it's liberating, too.

These days, of course, the word "mask" has an entirely different connotation, and its meaning varies for each of us. Some see the masks we've been wearing as protecting us from a deadly disease that have made the difference in letting us get "out and about," so they're liberating. But for others, they're a stifling reminder of a trying time many would prefer to forget as soon as possible.

In any case, mask on or mask off, I wish you and your kids a 2021 Halloween weekend that lets you be exactly who you want to be... whether that's completely yourself, or, for a few short hours, someone entirely different.

—Deb