Effort Counts

February 24, 2022

You hear it said often that "It's the thought that counts."

This is sometimes true. It's true when your aunt knits you a birthday sweater two sizes too large. It's true when your child brings you runny eggs, burnt toast, and crunchy coffee for Mother's Day. It's even true when you bring your favorite librarian a bunch of celebratory balloons only to discover that she is allergic to latex. When we say "It's the thought that counts," we really mean "It's the effort that counts"—even when the hammer doesn't quite hit the nail on the head.

So when doesn't the thought count? The thought doesn't count when the right thing needs to happen but you make only a halfhearted push in its direction, and someone else has to clean up after you.

Take dog poop, for instance: It's either dealt with properly by the dog owner, or it's not, and there really isn't any wiggle room in between. I took the above photo recently when I was walking my dog Penny on the Erie Canal path. Now, maybe the other dog owner justified not going back for the rebound when he didn't make the 3-pointer by rationalizing that he didn't want to get his feet wet in the snow. Maybe he was feeling sick. Maybe he just didn't care. Maybe he told himself, "It's the thought that counts." Whatever his reasoning, even dressed in a pretty pink cellophane package, his dog poop became our community's mess.

The first thing I said to myself when I saw that bag lying 12 inches away from the trash can was: "I bet the person who did this isn't a parent." How do I know this? Because when you become a parent, you suddenly realize that if something's gone awry, the only person available to get it straightened up or straightened out is you. The essence of being a grownup is that you become the person who cleans up the dog poop, even if it's not technically yours. So that's what I did as Penny ecstatically sniffed around the can.

You, like I, probably don't quite hit the nail on the head every time you try, but we both know the truth: It's the effort that counts. And the kids are watching.

—Deb